They'll give a blog to anybody.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Sorry Stacy

I was going to write something profound and interesting today. Unfortunately, things got busy here at work and I didn't have time and forgot what I was going to write. Maybe tomorrow. :)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I Like Spreadsheets, I Like Spreadsheets

If I say it enough, will that make it true?

Actually, I really do like spreadsheets. I like all the formulas and linked cells. I like how I can play "what if" and see the impacts of changing something. However, I am starting to get a little tired of updating the same one.

We have been going through some staff turnover at work recently. This requires me to update our project budget spreadsheets to see the impact of taking people off the project and replacing them (or not) with different people. Each change requires multiple scenarios to determine the best course of action. I just finished the most recent round of updates a couple of weeks ago. Late yesterday afternoon, I found out someone else is leaving. I'd leave too in their particular situation, but I was not ready to go through this exercise again so soon.

I suppose that's why they pay us project managers the big bucks. I'll just look at my PMP certificate (no, not photo mounting paper) on the wall and that will inspire me.

No more time to rant. I have numbers and formulas to update.

Monday, May 22, 2006


We saw the DaVinci Code on Friday. Mrs. Dirpus and I both thought it was a good movie. If you liked National Treasure, you'll like this. It has the same treasure hunt, action thing going on.

It's only a movie.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

I Almost Forgot

Thanks to everyone that contributed to my sabbatical fund yesterday. With evyone's help I raised a whopping $0.00 and a "check's in the mail" from Martha. I guess have to keep coming to work. Darn.

It's The Pants' Fault

Eureka, I have found it!

It's so stupid to have this stuff using my brain cells. I think it's a side affect of getting up so early in the morning and my brain not being fully awake.

It dawned on me that the determining factor (the root of the bi-socks-ual-ness) is my pants. If I put on my socks before my pants I have to go sock-sock, because I can't put my pants on after my shoes. They get stuck on the shoes. Plus I feel stupid standing there in wingtips with no pants. If I put my pants on first, I go sock-shoe, sock-shoe.

So there. It's the pants' fault. Stupid pants!

Can you believe that with all the technology at our disposal, this is the best I could come up with? Maybe it's not the pants that are stupid.

Have a day. :|

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

So That's What A Busy Site Looks Like

My wife put a link to yesterday's post on a message board she occasionally visits. I normally get 5 to 8 hits a day on my little blog. Maybe 13 or 14 on a busy day. I had 7 hits before she posted the link about 10:00 AM. By 8:30 last night, I had 347 hits on this blog. Yesterday's traffic was 20% of all the activity I've had, total, in the 7 months I've had this blog up.

If only we could use that power for good instead of evil. I know, if everyone that visited yesterday sends me $1,000 I can take a sabbatical from work. :)

Careful people, I'll think I'm writing good stuff. Mrs. Dirpus already tells me I'm the only one that thinks I'm funny. She doesn't need me getting any positive reinforcement on my sense of humor. However, I imagine things will be more back to normal today. If some of you nice SS people are back again, thanks for visiting. I appreciate the time you spent reading my little quips. I was pretty happy with yesterday's post (at least I thought it was cute). Usually I'm just spouting off about something.

I hope you aren't disappointed.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Apparently I'm Bi

Back in March, some people I know, and myself, all wrote about the same thing. We publicized our dressing preference. I stated emphatically that I was a hetero-dressual and ridiculed the homo-dressuals.

As I was getting dressed this morning, I noticed that I had gone sock-sock. The only thing left to do was to go shoe-shoe. Imagine my shock. After years of thinking that dressing should only be done with one sock and one shoe at a time, I had just put on a sock and a sock.

I admit it publicly, right here and now. I am bi-dressual. I can go sock-sock or sock-shoe depending on my mood. I blame Brokeback Mountain.

My apologies to the sock-sock, shoe-shoe people I harrassed before. Call me, we'll go shoe shopping.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Getting Old Sucks

We went out with some friends over the weekend to celebrate one's 40th birthday. I was driving so I had very little to drink. Just one beer in the bar before dinner and another during dinner. I had soda and water the rest of the evening. I was very good. So why did I feel hung over yesterday?

I attribute it to age. I used to be able to drink a lot more and not feel nearly as bad the next day.


Thursday, May 11, 2006

Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?

One of my co-workers has a pilot's license and is going out to practice some instrument approaches this afternoon. He has to do so many every 6 months to keep his rating current. He asked if I wanted to go with him. My schedule is open, so sure! Sounds like fun.

He came over to my desk a little while ago and asked if I wanted to fly one of the approaches, possibly the GPS approach. I had planned on just going along for the ride, but okay. We went over the approach chart for that runway so I'd have a feel for it ahead of time.

This should be interesting. I haven't even flown a simulator in years. I'm starting to get a little nervous. I hope I can keep the stupid plane level. Let's review...

I think it goes like this.

Step on the ball.
Steer to the bar. Is it the same for the glide slope? Uh oh.

Gravity is 32.2 feet per second squared.
The approach starts at 1400 feet.
Take the derivative, carry the 2...

This could hurt.

When I told Mrs. Dirpus about flying today, she asked if this flight constituted a business trip. Gotta love that double indemnity.

Monday, May 08, 2006


I thought things would calm down after tax season finished. The only thing that slowed down was the number of tax returns I prepared. Everything else seemed to sense the available time a sucked it right up. The real job has been crazy for... I don't know, it's all just a blur.

Anyway. I had my allotment of hours for the 2 week pay period used up by early last Thursday afternoon. I left work a couple of hours after that. I took Friday off since I couldn't bill a client and my company wasn't going to pay me for the time. Thursday night, I was talking to Mrs. Dirpus and decided to go play some golf early Friday morning. She was going to go to her gym and I could use the exercise. I figured I would walk and play a fast nine holes.

I got to the golf course a little before 7:00 AM and it was pretty deserted. I didn't see anyone waiting to start. When I came out of the pro shop after paying for round I saw two old men just driving up to the first tee. They were no where around when I went into the pro shop. I almost went home right then. I had visions of my nice relaxing walk around the golf course turning into a major stress event as a quick 90 minute round turned into a 3 hour round of waiting for the old guys before I could hit EVERY shot. They asked me if I wanted to join them. I refrained from saying "No. I want to play in front of you." Darned golf etiquette.

It started just like I thought it would. I had to wait to hit every shot on the first hole. My stress was building,so I made an executive decision to remove myself from the situation. The second and third holes were short par threes that go down and back the course. I just walked right on past them to the fourth hole. It was like the scene from the movie "Days of Thunder" where Tom Cruise passes everyone to take over first place in the race. All you see is open road and no one to get in your way. I had the whole rest of the golf course to myself and my stress disappeared. I played six more holes of speed golf and finished up about 7:45. I didn't care about only playing seven holes. It was my first time out for the year and I didn't want to over do it.

I played pretty well, except for that 9 on the fourth hole. I played the other six holes in 3 over par. I had a birdie and a couple of pars. I'll take that almost any time. Considering I was playing golf as an aerobic sport, it was not a bad score at all.

I DID miss driving the cart. That's always fun.